Stuff and Things

Just a quick entry before I go talk to my Chem Professor about transferring me to his class next semester.

So there is this girl, Gocha (I think that's how it's spelt, but it's pronounced gosha) in my French class. So funny. So nice. I see her last night whilest i'm having my ciggy and she is with these two guys, one of which is really cute (and tres busy). We chat for a while and then she is like, 'Aren't you and Amanda [Hayden] going out?' UMMMMM...no....i'm gay, I say. 'But you two are all over each other.' That's just how we are, I said, disrespectful of each other's personal boundaries. Anyhoo, she asked me if I was single and I said yes, then she went to the library with the boy. WELL, before French today, she was talking to me. I said that she didn't introduce her friend (whose name is Corbin), and she was like, you think he is cute, I was like..........so?! Hehe. Fun times.

I got a 89 on the calc test that I failed and 11/11 on all the homework he handed back, which was weird because I always do shitty on that homework. Also, the chem test that I was not prepared for turned out to be a breeze. I guarantee nothing, but at least it was easy.

edit: Good/Bad news. Good news, i got into the class i wanted; bad news, i have to get the block on my account lifted so they can make it final.

Tanksgiving Break and the Such

Break was so much fun! I really needed to see everyone from home (and I did). The car ride to and fro was better than anticipated. My sibster was really funny and we talked about everything the entire time. I really get along with my sister when the time comes, but usually we are at each other's throats. Tuesday night and Wednesday were Maddy nights. Of course, we went to Mokabees and it was fucking amazing. I got to see Shel, Ronnie, Crystal, and Mo. That was fun because I missed that place so so much (fyi if you are in STL, Mokabees started serving breakfast everyday, so go). I missed Maddy SO SO much. She is such an amazing friend and we more fun than i think is really healthy sometimes. We had lunch with Maddy's dad, which was the first time I have ever met him. He is so charming and I can see where Maddy gets her people skills. Turkey Day was nice. Went to my bro's First Communion (yes, I went to church and witnessed a sacrament). It was cute. All those little kiddos in their outfits. It was a plus that one of the altar boys was almost my age and way cute. Then lunch at my house with the g-parents and my aunt and uncle and fam. The meal wasn't all that spectacular; the leftovers were better. Of course, after sleeping off the food coma, I went to Maddy's and listened to HILARIOUS stories from her aunts and uncles. Audi came, which made Maddy very happy, and got the approval of the fam. YAY. Friday was the City Museum with all the gang, and then Mokabees after for a crazy game of knives (we couldn't find any spoons). Saturday night we went to Keegan's for a bonfire and then to my house. I got to talk to Keegan and Peter about school and I really can connect with those two. They are amazing people and I can't wait to see them during xmas break. I was so sad to leave. I miss everyone so so much and I haven't even been gone a day yet. I love STL so much and unless you are a native, you will never understand how great it really is. I got to see Jenna when I got back, but we can't tell our stories until JP gets back tomorrow. She stayed a day longer to see the Bucks game (they lost to Chicago, but the rams beat Texas. Ha!). I have work to do (which I won't do) and I am pretty much in limbo. If you read this, call me, because I would love to hear from everyone. I miss you all!

1 More Day

Okay. The downside of Blogspot is that I can't show what I am reading/watching/listening to. So I am going to tell all three, cause i'm like that.

Can you guess what I watched last night at 1am? That's right! MOULIN FUCKING ROUGE BABY!!! Crystyn, JP's roommate, had never seen it. Well, HA! I fixed that! She loved it, because how could someone who has a soul not love Moulin Rouge? I cried, like always. But what was weird was that I cry earlier, and longer than usual. What is that? I love that movie! And with that, I love my Lyss for introducing Moulin Rouge into my life. GOD I LOVE THAT MOVIE.

Speaking of things that make my soul smile, I just found this awesome song. It's by Santana and, one of my favs, Michelle Branch. It makes me think of Maddy. This is Michelle's second song with Santana (the first being The Game Of Love) and even though it has kinda the same sound, it is really really good. I would post the lyrics, but no one would read them anyways, so I won't.

This I what made me so so happy (aside from the previous two): The World Is Flat by Thomas Friedman. This is the first book that I have bought up here in Chicago for personal reading pleasure. I am so excited, because you know how much I fucking love books. I love them.

My only class left is Bio tomorrow and after that, I part for STLMO. I told myself that I would catch up on International Politics (8 Chapters!!!) whilest I was home. And I have a Chem test on the tuesday I get home, so I need to study for that. It will be a bitch. Otherwise, I will be hanging with the fam, mad, lyss, and the nerinx girls. So excited.

Aunts and Tiffany's

I'm just chilling in my room watching Breakfast at Tiffany's. Kind of a crappy/good night. Thought I would share.

We went to Kendall's again. It was pretty much amazing. Once again, all the people that I have ever met with all the beer you can drink. I got high, had a bad trip, and went into the hall because i needed some air. Sean walked me home and I went to bed. I think that was a good move. But, malheursement, i forgot to tell Jpeep and Jenna that I left. Now Jenna is pissed and not talking to me and, even thought Jp doesn't say anything, i think she is mad at me too. They want me to apologise. I am pretty much fed up with those two teaming up on me. They pick on me sometimes and it pisses me off. I need to apologise to my friends because I was too high to say I was leaving? Maybe it makes sense to them but I don't get it. Whatev.

Otherwise, everything is kinda shitty here. I really want to go home. I tried calling Maddy, she wasn't there. I tried calling Alex, she isn't home. I called Alyssa. Her sister had her baby! A boy! Lyss is an auntie! LOVE it! So excited to see her. We have beaucoup to talk about.

Anyhoo, I am going to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. Two days!!!!!!

EDIT:
The girls want to 'talk to me.' Let's hope there are big enough chunks to piece together for class tomorrow after they are done ripping me to shreds.

What?

Shit has been going down behind the scenes. Big changes are ahead, I know it. If all works out, I might be starting over. I guess i'll see....

In other news, I had a fucking awesome/crazy/sober night. Jenna and I were talking and we realized that we can have fun being sober.....but everyone else has to be really really drunk/high.

We went to Evanston today for a little outing. It was very bougie, but we had so much fun. We went to Einstein's Bagels, which was so nice because I haven't eaten there in a long long time. Then we looked around in the Gap, Barnes and Noble, and Urban Outfiters. I got a present for Maddy; she is going to love it!

Anyway, 4 days until I come home!!! I cannot wait! I want to see my dad and thomas and maddy so so so so so so so so much. Maybe even Tina too...(did I just say that?)....whatev.

I promised Maddy that we would see the Goblet of Fire together on Wed. It's killing me!

Out.

My Frems

So I am guessing that most of you have been reading either my Xanga or my new blog, Maddening Shroud. I talk about all of my college friends on these blogs, but I never really put them in context, so I thought I would.

First is my JP. Her real name is Justine Perry (Justine Michel (pronounced 'michelle') Perry when I am mad at her). My nicknames for her are peep, jpeep, neen, and jp respectively. She is from Tampa, FL and has never seen the seasons change or snow for that matter. We met on the secondd or third day of school, but she really first encountered me on my Xanga. She read it all summer so when I was going up the stairs and she was going down, she goes,'You're George Caputa' and I was like, 'You are Justine Perry!' Best friends ever since. She is in Honors floor, which she and I mock all of the time.

This is Jenna or JBear as we like to call her (short for Jenna Bear). She is probs the cutest person I will ever encounter in my life. She if from Perry, OH (a lil irony?). She has a boyfriend in Ohio named Ben who is a Junior and whom she talks to every damn day. She loves to say 'Cut-a-bitch' and 'k.thanks.' She started hanging out with JP and I in the first month of school and we pretty much love her to death.

So yeah, that's my group. Of course, between the three of us we know probs the entire freshman class, but that would be too many pics and I can't even remember all the names. Anyhow, I thought this would be a good post after the initial bummer of today.

Le Pauvre

I am poor. It's official. I talked to the Bursar today about lifting the hold on my registration (which they thankfully did), and he told me that I will owe all of the unpaid money at the end of my college career. It's almost surreal. I had about five minutes of clear thoughts and then immediately went into a panic attack. I called my sister in front of Damen and was on the verge of tears, went to my room and let it all out. It's just so damn hard because this brings back all of my family problems. Everyone thinks that my family has money. Well, the correct term was had. I am not going to diminish the fact that my family used to live very comfortably. Money was never a problem. But then my mom left and the restaurant went under and Alex went to college etc etc. So now I carry my own burden. I am officially in the real world. All I can think of are the lyrics to a Katy Rose song:

I keep on looking through the looking glass
And I want to fall on through
Out of the real world to a happy day
Out of the wreckage that I do

When I was in my room, all these crazy (but not so far fetched) thoughts we streaming through my brain like Should I really be at this school? Why am I not at a cheaper school? Can it be possible that the only thing keeping me here is a promise and a good name? I don't know. I seriously don't. What am I going to do? I could never talk to my dad about these things because he is completely stressed out about all our other financial problems as it is. I guess I will talk to Alex tonight. She will have some answers. I hope.

Glasses

I want to start this post off with a quote from one of my favorite movies, Jeux d'Enfants. The main character says, "Friends are like glasses, they make you look smart, but eventually they scratch and get bored with them." Well, if you replace friends with college life, the saying still holds. I don't know what happened. The magic wore off and now all the feelings that I should have felt at the beginning are rising up. I dunno.

Calc was amazingly boring like usual, so I decided to journal instead of listening to DelGreco babble on about the origins of the definite integral for arc length:

Why have people been looking at me all day? I mean, there isn't anything different about me than before; I know that for sure. But seriously, what is it? Anyway, this guy is crazy. KrAzY! What is his deal? He most definitely wears the same outfit every day. He is invincible; he got hit with a truck a couple weeks ago and walked away with a scratch. I'm thinking that he is a real life cartoon character. I mean, what other explanation is possible? He teaches class, rarely calls on people, grades the homework without mercy (well, in this case I am being too harsh because he has a grader). He is DEFINITELY no Mr Becvar. No one get even close to being as good as Mr Becvar. On a lighter note, I got all my serious stuff done today (i.e. ticket, Thomas' b'day presents) so now I feel like I have a huge load off my shoulders. On a heavier note I am like 7 chapters behind on International Politics. I might go home, take a nap, and then start reading my ass off. I am excited for MPeep (JP's sibster) to come tomorrow. That means that I might get to sit through honors lecture and see what all the fuss is about. Why is M. Pomme looking around like someone is out to get him? Whatev. Seriously, all the cute people in this school do not phase me anymore. They did for like 3 weeks, but now they are normal people...except hotter. I miss Maddy so much, like A LOT!! I just do. She may not be a good friend sometimes, but I don't care because she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Speaking of friends, I am going to miss JP and Jenna and everyone over Turkey Break....

And it ends there. I know, random stuff, but all relevant.

Wow, Mom, Wow

So I'm not going to lie, i started this blog on a whim. I have a xanga and i think i am finished with that. Time to move on to a real blog. Not some silly MySpace.

Anyhow, I can't wait to get home. I just can't. I miss everyone from St. Louis and life here has become very mundane. Like this weekend, I got to hang out with my crush of 4 years now. Was i phased at all? No. We drank with him on Friday and had dinner with him on Saturday. That tells me something is definitely wrong.

I have good feelings about this blog.

Ciao