Patrick

I have no clue what to do. Seriously. I am only going to get to see him for about two days before we leave before break. That means that I have to establish some kind of viable relationship with him in about 48 hours give or take. Who ever thought that this would be so much work? Oh wait, when there is barely any work being done on the other side, it's easy to imaging. I understand that he is very very behind in work and that he has a lot to do, but when he is really close to finishing his paper and he knows that I am waiting for him and he goes out and takes two twenty minute smoke breaks.....I don't know what to fucking think. I know there is something there, but is it enough? I hope so. I am so so excited about this that I can barely contain myself, but it seems like the more I put in, the less I get back. Actually, I have gotten almost nothing back. Wow. It doesn't make me like Patrick any less because it is just the situation that we are in. He is busy and I want to build a relationship. He just doesn't have the time right now. I just wish that he would give me something like a hug or a kiss or any sense of aknowlegement. Blair says he's not one for PDAs, but I just want something. I'm dead serious, if this works out and we become something, I would pursue it to the ends of the earth. I would. Long distance? No problem! Of course, I have no idea what Patrick thinks about this; actually, I have no idea what he thinks about anything concerning us. All that I know about our relationship from him is through Blair. I don't know what to do. It's just that, like Oscar Wilde says: "There are two tragedies in the world: never getting what one desires, and getting it." I like that. I think it reflects the reality of the situation. Nothing is as it seems.