Life or Something Like It

Difficult situations are....well, difficult. Sometimes it seems like the quip, "wrong place, wrong time" doesn't cover it. Sequences of events can be fickle and put you in a state where all you can think is, "what should I do? where can I start? Is it even worth it?" To that I say, do what you can. We are only as good as our best effort, as cliche as it may seem.
But really, what is life? I watched Life or Something Like It, and it made me think of unfavorable situations and how we deal with it. Define life: your job? school? your friends? getting up in the morning to a new day? living? All those seem like ways to define yourself. All those seem like ways to achieve happiness. And that is it. It's that simple: life is happiness.
Of course, there all kinds of states and methods of being happy. Someone could be completely glossing over the finer, more important details and say that they are happy. In essence though, happiness is one's ability to be their self; to pursue their dreams and aspirations. To be able to be truly in love. That, in my opinion is happiness.
How do we achieve it though? Like I said before, a career, school, friends, living are all ways to achieve this 'happiness'. What I have discovered though, is that one cannot be truly happy at work, in school, or in life unless they feel they have a purpose. Everyone's purpose in life is relatively the same, to know their self and to bring happiness to others.
Do you ever notice that when you are having a really good day and you are bubbly and outgoing, you seem to put a smile on everyone's face? That is what I am talking about.

Everyone's A Little (Insert Debaucherous Quality Here)

I am so bad. Everyone is so mean. The world is fucked up. DEAL! I know, that is not how I usually look at these things, but when you think about yourself, and you think: I am fat, I am skinny, I am crazy, I am mean, I am depressed, I am nice, I am funny, I have weird fetishes, I am a prude, I am a big slut, I am poor, I am ugly, you are really not taking into context the whole of society. People come in a variety of brands, actually, I like to think that no two people are the same, but experiences are. People go through their life and they can experience all sorts of things, but the part that makes us different is that we all experience different combinations of things. I know so many people whose parents are divorced, but they have all reacted differently because the divorces, their life before the divorce, and their life after the divorce has been different from everyone else's.
Kind of a grand concept, I know, but I like it. It explains a lot in a couple of words. But here is the kicker: just because you are ugly, poor, prude, funny, etc. doesn't make you weird or different. I don't mean different in the nice sense as unique, I mean you are not a social outcast. I think that is what people throughout history have come to understand. Gay people thought they were freaks and outcasts in society during the early 20th century, but that was not true. They just never met others like them in an open and healthy environment.
That leads to another point, entitlement. Just because someone is different does not entitle them to anything, of course unless it is a mental or physical handicap. People who think society owes them something because of what they were born into, yeah, that bugs me. Don't get me wrong, I am probably a socialist at heart. I think that everyone is entitled to certain rights like schooling, a job, healthcare, social security, the works. But I don't like people who think that because they are getting something, or because they are a certain way, they don't have to work as hard as others. I don't know if this is making sense or if it is contradicting itself or what, but that is what I believe.
In the end, I believe the playing field of humanity and society should be as level as possible. There is no reason for us all to be the exact same, but there can also be no society if everyone is radically different. There needs to be some type of cohesion of beliefs, of concerns, and of interests in order for people to want to work together and to give to each other. We are all trying to survive in a very harsh world and I think that merits a moment of reflection: exactly how different are we? What makes a republican different from a democrat? They are both trying to better their society and their country, but just by using different methods.
On that note, I'll sign out. But think about it. Please.



Post script: I don't know if I should post about homosexuality. I could, I just don't know if people want to hear it. If you do or don't, leave a comment.

Duality

At the request of a very good friend, I have decided to journal. I know I have a blog, but this will not be solely about my current escapades or the happenings of my life. No. This will be much more reflective; almost an analysis of my thoughts and feelings. I hope everyone enjoys.

So I was thinking of what to write and an interesting concept popped into my head: duality. Duality is, I believe, the essence of analysis of the world. The most common symbol for duality is yin yang. Wikipedia defines yin and yang respectively: Yin, the darker element, is passive, dark, feminine, downward-seeking, and corresponds to the night; yang, the brighter element, is active, light, masculine, upward-seeking and corresponds to the day.

But I am not going for the Te Ching version of duality. I am talking about the duality of people. How many times a day do we swing from a happy mood to a depressive daze? It seems like anything can flick the switch; a funny story can brighten a day, while a sad song or even just talking to a sibling or a parent can be so frustrating that your entire day is ruined, or so it seems. What causes that? I am not trying to get into bipolarism, I am just trying to figure out what is it that makes people more susceptible to these swings? Personally, I believe that these swings are the results of a person living on the edge. No, not in an X-treme way. I’m talking about someone that is either depressed, lonely, or lost without meaning

I have been depressed. In fact, I truly believe that I have been fighting depression for about 4 years and that I will have to deal with it for the rest of my life. I think that people who aren’t depressed do not understand what it is like to live from moment to moment looking for something, just that one thing that is going to make you better forever, whether it is a person, a new job, a hobby, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or something like that.

I think that is the problem with me and the problem with depression; I experience things very very intensely. When I see someone I think is cute that might like me, I almost obsess over them because I don’t want that to be the one that got away. Of course, that means that I get so nervous that I can’t talk to them and then I either alienate them by being really loud and obnoxious, or they walk away knowing nothing about be because I am so quiet.

It is a state of extremes. So where will I find that person, or that thing to cure me? I don’t know. People tell me that I am young (which I am) and that all I need to do is be patient (which I am not) and someone will come my way. Well, I have seen my two best friends find their someone, and being the 5^th wheel now is shitty.

For duality’s sake, I just need to find my balance on my own because, in the end, and as cliché as this may sound, I am the only one that can truly know how to make myself happy.