Someone Different

Have you ever met someone who completely blew you away? Someone genuinely interesting, intelligent, and complicated?

The problem is what happens when you pursue a relationship with that person. They like you for who you are, you like them for who they are, but there are so many complications that it doesn't seem worth it. With all your heart you try to convince yourself that it is worth it, that this person is the catch of a lifetime and that you will never probably meet anyone like this ever again, that you will always compare people to this one amazing person.

What do you do then?

It probably won't work, and he has made it clear that he thinks that. So why pursue it? Why lead me on? All i really want is an answer so i can go on with my life. That is all i really want, some definition. But will he give me that? No.

What then?

I really don't want to let go of this one. This one is real. But at the same time, it can never be. People told me to wait for the right one to come along; it did and he came along. Now, it seems like fate is playing a huge joke on me. With every quarrel, my heart seems to grow colder to the thought of any relationship.

What should I do?

..................

So I am trying to stay calm. It's definitely working. Yesterday, it wasn't so great. Just keep listening to my iPod and hope that will drown out all of the bad things. Just hope.

Friends

Just a quickie before class....

School has taught me a lot about friends, friendships, and relationships with people in general. When I was younger (meaning before college), I thought, naturally, that everyone had a personality, that everyone was polite and respectful of other people's feelings and all that shit. Well, once again, I was proven wrong. Not everyone has a personality. They might have things that they like, a plan for the future, and lots of friends, but that does not mean that they have a personality. People are not very respectful either. They will shit all over you if you let them and if it makes them look good in front of others. They will flirt shamelessly and it makes me want to vomit. They are looking for someone almost, or even more shallow then themselves and they want to call that a meaningful and mutually respectable relationship. And on that note, lots of people have no consideration for the feelings of others. They will say whatever can hurt you the most and then not apologies or feel remorseful at all. Ergo, people can be pieces of shit. I am so thankful that I have a couple really good friends here and a bunch of amazing friends at home. They are the most wonderful people. I am so privileged to know them. Anyway, I have come to accept the phrase 'hate people, love humanity.'